When bananas go on maternity leave

Standard

So what do you do when a banana goes on maternity leave?  You get a replacement to slip into their position. 

At work we have two women with the first initial of ‘B’.  One started work here first and so she was B1 and the second was B2.  For those who don’t know B1 and B2 are the names of bananas from a kids television show, Bananas in Pyjamas.  Around work it became their little symbols, on their lockers at their desks, even (in more innocent days) signing off emails.  

B2 is now heavily pregnant and going off on maternity leave.  Soon after the regular request for Expressions of Interest for the Maternity Leave position, B1 sent the following: 

Subject:  EOI B2 Maternity Leave 

We are seeking expressions of interest in the position of B2 (Banana in pyjama number 2) for a maternity leave contract of 6 months, with an option of extension.  No rotten fruit need apply. 

Essential

 Must have an initial that starts with B or P 

Look good in blue stripes 

Ability to run down stair 

Ability to work as part of a team (preferably pairs) 

Ability to chase teddy bears 

Familiar with the “Joe Wong Pipe theory” 

Like the music by “Jemima Puddleduck” 

Like Bananas, and be kind to other fruit 

 
Optional 

Fake tan 

Familiar with Camembert (the cow) 

Applications must be sent to B1 or B3 by Tuesday (because on Tuesday they all try to catch them unaware)

 “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, B1?” “I think I am, B2!” 
 

A reply was quickly sent to all those who had received the Expression of Interest: 

To whom I concern: 

I am applying for the position to be B2; I have had experience in the field of being a Banana man. I am interested in being a banana man I have always wanted to do this; I’m a motivated person who strives to do the best at everything I do. 

I have had experience in dressing up as a tiger and dancing around in the street, therefore I will definitely look good in stripes. I also have had experience in eating banana’s, my record is eating 4 banana’s in 50 seconds. From these experiences I believe I am the best person for the job. 

Thankyou for taking the time to read my application and I hope to hear from you soon. 

Regards 

Banana Man 

Just for your information, Banana Man above is an ex-staff member Matthew Griffiths who will do anything (well we haven’t found anything that he won’t do so far) for a good cause.

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