Polishing s***


I loved making mudpies when I was a kid. I could spend all day shaping and “cooking” the mudpies on the metal lid of our garbage bins. Now if I’d only been born in Japan I could have made something that would have outshone those tin can creations.

I can’t say I’d ever heard of the phrase “You can’t polish s***” until Mythbusters chose to test it.

What surprised and intrigued me was the way they achieved the high gloss shine on the final balls of poop.

Dorodangos like the one opposite are usually made of mud, instructions on making one are to be found here. It is a very ancient Japanese childhood pastime revitalised by a researcher into children’s play named Professor Fumio Kayo.

I find my finger twitching at the thought of getting my hands on a big ball of mud and working it into such a stunning artifact. From dirt to desire, soil to stunning. It certainly puts my old mud pies to shame. To think if I’d only put those piles of mud in my mother’s fridge instead of on the hot garbage tin lid.

With all that in mind, there’s only one thing I have a problem with. Now that we’ve established that you can indeed polish s****, the only question is, why would you bother?


3 responses »

  1. I’ve been thinking about this post all day. The little emoticon was me trying to express my gob-smackedness.
    I have heard the saying. All day I’ve been thinking of things you could describe as polished sh1t. The best one I’ve come up with is Windows Vista, you can polish it all you like, it’s still . . .
    I do like the thought of making shiny mud balls. Take note, I did say “MUD”.

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